Artificial Drawing
by Harukaze-san
Summary: The boy who always smile, the boy who always laugh, the boy who never express his sadness in front of other people. Will there be anyone that could understands his true feelings?


**I do not own Kagerou Project or any of the characters. They all belong to their rightful owners. **

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_"We can't play together with Haruka, because he's weak!" _

_"We'll only get in trouble if you stayed with us, go away you weakling." _

_"Crying from such little things, how pathetic."_

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"Happiness..?" The boy kept staring at that one word inside his picture book, a word that he could never understand. It was a drawing of a group of children, smiling so widely. Without knowing what it meant, he decided to keep on drawing those kinds of smiles, hoping that he would be able to figure it out eventually.

The colored pencils his mother gave him, were starting to became blunt. He stood up from his bed, looking around for a pencil sharpener and that was when he noticed that, he has been locked up inside this white, plain room for so long. Paying attention to the sunset outside the window, his eyes widened to the colors he saw.

"Red..Yellow..Orange.." Haruka murmured to himself softly, collecting ideas for the things he wanted to draw. "It's beautiful." He had always wondered what it was like to be outside, feeling the warmth of the sun, the softness of the grass, the relaxing spring breeze. Haruka was said to have an illness, a weak body that was able to collapse at any moment, which was why he wasn't allowed to do things like any other normal children.

After getting back to the bed with a sharpener, he began to draw the image of the sunset he saw earlier. "Not good enough.." He was never proud of his drawing skills. He only drew to escape from reality, being in his own little world so that he didn't have to get hurt anymore. He tore the piece of paper out from his sketch book, crumbled it into a ball, and threw it towards the trashcan.

His gaze stopped at the empty, colorless rectangular paper, it seemed so lifeless, so plain, just like the hospital room. Because the paper wasn't torn properly, the canvas was folded. Revealing some part of the drawings he drew yesterday and the days before that. This was the very first time he chose to look back at his old drawings.

"Ah..." He discerned that the whole sketchbook was filled with the smiles of people. If such a world does exist, a world overwhelming with happiness, he had no right to be there. If observed carefully, the smiles he drew were all fake. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't draw the emotions he never experienced. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't draw a world he didn't know. This room, had remained the same ever since the first time he came here. He hadn't changed either, continued to stay a weakling, a coward who had no hope left on staying alive. He simply lived his life futilely.

He unconsciously chased after other people's shadows, "I'm envious.." Having a straight face, he glared at the pitched black glass frame, the outside world was full of darkness. Except his room, which stayed completely white. "It hurts.." He would glance at the other kids through the window from time to time, playing together, laughing together, having fun together. He felt neglected, watching them from behind like this, being left alone.

No matter how happy it looked, no matter how much he wished for it, he couldn't enter the world he drew and created with his very own hands. He scratched his head violently, yelling in despair. His tears dropped down from his cheeks on to the canvas. Clenching his fist tightly, he held his sketchbook up above him, before ripping it into small pieces. The boy chuckled as he watched the paper scatter all over the room.

"This world.. is so unfair huh.." He smiled warmly. Letting out a small, soft laugh.

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**Uwaaaaa~ I finally uploaded my first fanfiction! Reviews are always welcome! I really appreciate those.. **

**My English might not be that great, but I'll do my best to improve it! **

**I might write the next chapter soon, please look forward to it~! HaruTaka shall always be my OTP xDD **


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